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March 9th, 2008

poke poke

3/9/08 11:17 pm
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hello everyone! I should be sleeping now since tmr is ELECTS CAMP!!! omigosh! Im so so so so scared because EVERYONE says it is a torture camp. *gasp* I am quite sure of myself mentally but physically, gosh! my feet totally let me down all the time! Even clearing the banner room and storeroom made my feet HURT like shit!

The holidays arent hols at all. I am down in school from monday to saturday! Its like normal school days and I have to study for math test, finsh 2 history essays, study chinese chengyus and read my wilfred owen reader plus great expectations! How awesome is that. I can never finish all that!!! gosh, im so going to die...

reflecting on my life this year. I'm kinda happy. I changed. for the better. I went back to God(thanks to jo), joined council which totally exhausts me like never before but it is so so fufilling, made so many new and awesome friends, formed an awesome relationship and became a better person. Of course once in awhile i think, have i really lost the essence of who i am. but my essence is in God and as long as  He is my center, this is me.

I dont know if you have gotten over or gained closure. Just to let you know, I am still praying. For what I dont know but I pray that God will help us.
  • Current Mood: calm
  • Current Music: Collide- Howie Day
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February 24th, 2008

wash face wash face wash face look and pose

2/24/08 09:42 am
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This week has been great! so many UPS and downs... Firstly, I wasnt posted to VJC, omgsh, I died in nanyang on reporting day!! It was horrid, I HAD to leave that boring place! So I left early and went back to VJC, I was needed for orientation anyways(: I love everyone in VJC!!! Then, my appeal got accepted!! I was taking a cab home and on the expressway ms goh called me so i had to turn all the way back!!! To say I was elated would be an understatment.

BUT, so many ppl didnt get back to VJ. Especially you, it really sucks not to have you in school mann.. You better re- appeal k!! But these few days have been awesome because there was so many things that we all did together. It was nice(: No photos, just memories! 

Thank you to all the nominees!! EVERYONE has been awsome!! We managed to pull through O2!! Exhausting but so so so worth it. I think all the nominees just died aftr O2 but hey, we bonded so much la! I realised how much the nominees mean to me and I dont want any of them to leave! 

I have so many things to say but as usual I cant remember what I had to say!!
  • Current Music: Don't Tell Me- Avril Lavigne
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February 16th, 2008

tic toc

2/16/08 10:15 pm
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wow. this week has been so exhausting. super satisfying. super fufilling. but super tiring.

I can feel myself getting drained of my energy.

Sorry to everyone whose smses i didnt reply, I really want to, but my brain cant function too well now.

To everyone who gave me stuff on Valentine's day, THANK YOU. 
esp daph and carrie(: thanks so much!! love you!! 
manda, thanks! sorry i didnt get you anything, i missed the deadline to send flowers! oh thanks for your flower!
to everyone else: thank you so so so much!!! I really am very grateful for the gifts, big or small(: Each and everyone of them has made my smile brighter, wider and most joyful!!

Ok from todays 1% of energy, its officially 0.5%. My eyes are closing and some people have not sent me their stuff, im waiting....
  • Current Music: I want U
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February 8th, 2008

shit angel/pee devil

2/8/08 12:12 pm
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Even though yips has already posted about this. I shall do it anway too!

The lock n lock bottle war during math tutorial

 

hahaha... is the war readable? yeah hopefully so! hahaha! my bottle is so much cuter than aloy's!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

This year's cny was pretty boring... bah... I didnt get new clothes! So i'm totally underdressed this year!): But overall it was ok! I finally talked to the three guys from my dad's side. We always see each other every year, but we NEVER talked to each other before! So it was pretty fun! I still dont really know how they are related to me actually.. hmmmm. some distant relative i guess!

Valentines day is coming! I'm pretty excited! I think it would be super different from sc's valentines day! hahaha sc is like super landiao... like we give each other flowers!! pretty lame.. its more like friendship day... hahaha! I havent got all the gifts yet! I need to find time to go get them with debs! But the senior's prelims are on that day too! so the day will be dedicated to my seniors! i really hope that everything goes super well!!! The seniors' piece is really good la! They deserve to do well(:

Oh and there is mass dance which i have to learn. I really cant dance for nuts la! Im so going to screw monday!! hahahaha... i just downloaded the mass dance songs.. but i dont think listening to them will actually help me at all! hahahaa...

OOO! The guests just arrived! BYEE!
  • Current Music: whiney whiney
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February 5th, 2008

haengbok!

2/5/08 11:24 pm
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 hello hello! hahahah... i decided to post now because im waiting for my meringues to like BAKE! (dont laugh jerald and leon) I'm pretty sure they will turn out well ok! so stop picking on my muffins! I know they were horrid the last time but im sure that this time round my meringues will turn out to be edible!!! hopefully change my reputation as a sucky baker! hahahaha

This week has been awfully awfully tiring! ok why aweful? more like awesomely awesomely!! hahahaha! ok i had coucil q&a on monday, which turned out a little less than ok because i felt i shitted my question up! i was so nervous and it obviously showed! oh mannn... We had crewing for our tsd senior! THE DANDYLIONS!!! Their piece is seriously AWESOME! like WOW! i can never imagine coming up with a piece like theirs! as high standard as theirs! so *CLAPS*

Today again was a horridly long day! We ALL fell alseep during lit lecture! it was SO BORING! except for yips who was COPYING THE NOTES! what the hell! they werent even really notes la yips! hahahaha.. jerald and i just went into COMA! i tried to keep myself awake by constantly waking jerald up! which probably drew the attention of the lecturer! I saw cheong and leon COMAing too ok! not my fault that i slept! History lecture i didnt sleep AT ALL!!! its SEA HISTORY!!! its a miracle i didnt sleep!!! i really dont enjoy SEA history ok! names like aungsun just bores me out! boohoo! hahahaha.. i kept awake by writing my angel a letter! whoo! Then we had TSD again! it was tiring la! but i learnt quite alot! we ended late, like super late! 1 hour late! not the seniors fault but i totally pangseh mb! i felt so super badd! i owe you one! and i will keep my promise!

ok so awesome pic to share! stories shall come in the later posts if i can find the time and feel to write them!!




SARAH AND EUGENIA TOGETHER FOREVER(:
hahaha we are officially NO2 on the scandal list!
dont we look so lovey dovey!! whoo!
i love youuuu loverrrr(:



  • Current Music: baking timers ticking away
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January 27th, 2008

chocolates!!!

1/27/08 04:09 pm
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hello! Yesterday so many things happened, its been a whirl wind. Suprisingly, i feel not-so-bad, im constantly reminding myself to trust in the Lord. He is the Deliverer, He will pave a way for me(: 

I'm sorry for all the things I have done. Happy Birthday btw.. even though i dont think you would see this.

Im surprised that I 've been so understanding with you too. I need time to recover, I won't dtich our friendship, we just need time to clear things up and hopefully start afresh(:

look at how calm I am! I never knew i could reach this stage! I am at peace(:

Thanks jo! You really helped me so much, so much release. I should be coming next week too(:

Thanks mommy's boy. Even though i know you wouldnt be reading this, thanks for everything. Thanks for praying, thanks for listening. I'm here for you too(:

  • Current Music: dead end- tvxq
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January 26th, 2008

wish upon a falling star

1/26/08 09:18 am
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The past few days have been tiring, its been hard to breathe. Disappointment yet relief. Relief yet worry. I'm sorry to those whom i have disappointed. 老師：是有點失望，但盡力就好了。 I really wanted to cry when she said that. What if I told her perhaps I didnt do my best? I think I'm over the devastation stage. I just want to get this whole thing over and done with. I hate looking at my results slip, maybe its some sort of denial. Its hard when you arent here for me because I feel stranded grappling my way through nothing.

Yesterday was fun though! We saw two falling stars!! How cool is that!?!?(: I had never thought I would see a falling star in my life!!! I was so shocked! It was just a mixture of emotions and for the first time in a long long long time, I really felt happiness in my heart and nothing else. Innocent and pure happiness which I thought would no longer come back to me. Luckily, there were two stars, because i had two wishes(: Am I too greedy?? hehehe

I have finally let go. I even said sorry to you when you hugged me. I felt relief, that I could finally bring myself to say sorry to you. Even though you wont be reading this, but I want to thank you for supporting me that day and even calling to help me out. Thank you. If we ever have a shot at this friendship again- if its meant to be- I will grab it(: I wish you all the best in your journey!

I have to find some way to release my anger and hatred towards you. It will take a long time, but I'm sure one day I will, just like how I did with her. It took me almost an entire year to forgive myself and her, and it would take longer with me and you because you hurt me so deep. Your smses, phonecalls dont help. So stop calling and stop smsing, I just want to breathe for awhile. When I feel alive again, I will call. I know you too well though, you don't have the patience to wait.
  • Current Music: Love so sweet- Arashi
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January 22nd, 2008

(no subject)

1/22/08 08:37 pm
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im super super scared!!! ahhh.. tmr got council interview! what if i screw up mann... i want to get in!!! booo... i hope i can get in.. OH and stupid o level results are coming out on thurs... im really want to get back to vjc so super badly!!! my class rocks, so does my og!! i made friends alrdy, i dont want to make friends ALL OVER AGAIN):

I really like school alot, helps me get away from all the shit. Its like an opening for me to breathe... I wont deny im so hurt. I feel so horrible for making such a huge mistake, for trusting you and betraying her. For someone smart(not being ego here) like me, i dont understand how i could have misjudged you. Why? i really thought that i could trust you, but you just broke it, you ruined it, dont blame me if i screw up your life. I feel like stabbing you, no wait, i dont want you to die so soon. I want to torture you for everything you have done to me. How is it even possible that you can act so buddy buddy with me when deep down you dont treat me as your good friend. I'd rather you just walk away. How can you even have the cheek to call me still, dont you have some sort of conscience?? Even I wont do what you do. Seriously, why did i even make friends with you, thinking how our friendship is special because we are so different yet we could connect. Now, i just want to laugh and kill myself all at the same time for being so STUPID. You know very well that if you hurt me, I will take revenge. So now, dont blame me if I bite back.

I WILL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH. you can never beat me at my game.

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January 12th, 2008

08A12

1/12/08 08:20 am
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hahhaha! see i put my class as my title!! so if ppl like ingmar google our class, this blog will be on the list!! oh my shit, im so lame! oh well... my class is most definitely the best class out of ALL the 08 class!! i don't think anyone can deny that! I have been getting feedback that science classes mug like hell? OUR class just plays concentration! And slacking at the treehouse(: I'm pretty pleased with vjc so far! I have yet to talk to a few classmates so my mission for the following week is to get to know them better!


360 degrees turnaround(other ppl stop reading here)

On a serious note: I feel super angry and disgusted. Your stupidity just makes me laugh yet feel sad for you. You don't know how everyone else is smarter than you, and THINK that you are on the top of the game when you ARE NOT. So carry on with your g__ dream and maybe when you wake up(if you ever do) you will realise that you have made SUCH a mistake. I feel super betrayed and to think you can turn back on not just me but your other 'close friends', really outrages me. I don't just feel angry and hurt for myself, but also your other friends who actually might do really care for you quietly. 

I can't wait to see you fall, so I can look down and laugh from the top.
  • Current Music: Last Farewell- BIG BANG
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January 6th, 2008

paddle pop!!

1/6/08 05:14 pm
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Orientation got better from the first day! i had loads of fun!! My og is made of really nice people. (: Yay to that!!!

BUT no matter what, cannot compare to SC. I miss all my friends... 

This is such a random post

I have so many things to say

But i dont know how to express it

when i find the right words, i will come back.

  • Current Music: Midnight Girl- Shinhwa
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January 2nd, 2008

chapter 1

1/2/08 09:52 pm
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today was the first day of jc life- new school, new friends, new uniform, new everything. There were feelings of anxiety, nervousness, excitement, apprehension. I guess the unknown was thrilling yet frightening. The atmosphere was laughter with that tinge of 'im scared but must hide it'. Strange yet intriguing.

I must say that orientation was overall ok. I guess there were things i thought/ hoped would have happened but didnt. It made me feel so insecure, like i had lost my footing.

Seeing how the victorians LOVED AND ADORED their school, strangely enough, i couldnt help but feel affection for SC. Many times i would think, how SC is so much better. Maybe i actually like SC more than i thought i do, or maybe i never acknowledged its importance in my life. VJC is making me realise how i should have treasured SC so much more and how im really a SC girl all throughout.

I sound like propaganda for SC.

Oh well, i wonder what tomorrow has in store for me. I hope for the best, but mentally prepare myself for the worst.
  • Current Music: Scream- Kim Dong Wan
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December 23rd, 2007

(no subject)

12/23/07 10:35 pm
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Usually, this blog would be totally dead quiet because im simply too lazy to post- whatever i need to say/express, i can just tell the people around me, be it mommmy, friends or whatever.

Strangely enough, today,  i have turned to this stupid liveless journal as an opening because im simply desperate to let out my frustration(after holding it in for a few days)

I don't think i have ever experienced this kind of fear before... where death really looks you in the eye. The fear is so great, i dont wanna tell mommmy because im so scared she will just break down and go through the whole emotional trauma im going through right now...

My friends? Happily shopping away in Hong Kong. Both of them.


What am i supposed to do?

I keep running the thought through my head everyday.

It gets scarier everytime.

Mommy's birthday, christmas, josh's birthday. How can i bring myself to destroy their happiness??

This sounds like im going to die.

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December 1st, 2007

new! new! new!

12/1/07 09:17 am
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After three weeks plus of trying to create a new blog, TADAHHH! Im almost finished with it! YAYNESS!

The first post of this new blog is so special!!! All because im posting this in VEGAS!!! 

Update on my trip:

23rd of Nov(S' pore time)

I left Singapore to go AMERICA! I took SQ economy class(what a bummer). I survived but it wasnt very fun... Being in economy for 6 hours plus then 9 plus hours is not very comfortable... IN ADDITION there were TWO BABIES on the plane... so the crying didnt add on the the comfort...

 23rd of Nov(America time)

I finally arrived! We checked in and took an hours drive to Gilroys(i think thats how u spell it). IT WAS BLACK FRIDAY SALE!!!! The sale is like CRAZY CHEAP!!! So freaking cheappppp!!!!

The point is.... I SHOPPED A LOT.. MORE AND MORE AND MORE FOR THE REST OF THE DAYS IN SAN FRANS.

The real good cheap stuff i bought:

1) 2 nine west shoes costing less than 100 sing dollars altogether
2) 3 pairs of jeans! (one of which only 15 sing dollars!)
3) Many shirts from places like ecko(all of which about 15 sing dollars too)
4) Shorts from abercombie
5) Bags

MANY MANY MANY MORE!!!!!!!

On some day which i cannot rmb...

We took southwest airlines to VEGASS!!! The flight was interesting... super candid... like the stewardess(who is just weird random lady with no uniform whatsoever) joked like crazy... and the passegers were like replying and laughing and cheering along... so it was super different!!

We watched cirque de soleil(mystere) at night. It was really really good.

Next day(Wednesday america time)...

We went to circus circus... hung around...

At night: watched blue man group whichi must say was FANTASTIC!!! My bro was like laughing away like a crazy goofball! 

Thursday

Went to new york new york... hung around too...

slacked for the rest of the day

Friday which is also today!!!

went to GRAND CANYON! took a helicopter... FLEW FLEW FLEW! It was pretty fun and cool! But it was slightly scary la... THE VIEW WAS AMAZING!!! Then we landed at the bottom of the canyon... IT WAS SO FREAKING COLD COZ IT STARTED RAINING IN ADDITION TO THE WIND CHILL FACTOR!!!! I was only wearing one long- sleeved shirt and like a coat. So i was like shivering ALL THE WAY. Ok so the trip was not bad la... It was really really fun! but the cold really screwed some parts of the trip... so yupp... now im back in the hotel, all warmed up!
Dad and mommy went gambling AGAIN. The slots seem to be quite addictive...

OMGSH, JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE IS PLAYING ON TV NOW!!!! OMGSH HIS THONGS SHIT THING CRACKKS MEEE UPP!!!

ok whatever... im really hungy.. i see pizza... IM OFF!


  • Current Mood: good
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